A Love Story in the Key of Divorce: A Musician’s Journey
In a courtroom 17 years ago, a phone sat on a table, symbolizing the distance that had grown between a couple. The judge noted for the record that the woman was appearing for her divorce “by phone.”
This was before the days of Zoom, when the woman in Oakland, California, and her husband 3218 kilometers away in the Midwest, were connected only by the sound of their voices. The judge asked the husband the date of their marriage, and he struggled to remember.
“Why is it always the man who forgets?” the judge remarked, eliciting a chuckle from someone in the room.
Their story began eight years prior, when they were young musicians in a training orchestra in Miami. Both striving for a stable position in a professional orchestra, they knew the odds were against them. Yet, they were unwilling to choose between their careers and their relationship. Thus began a long-distance relationship that eventually led to a long-distance marriage.
As the years passed, the strain of being apart took its toll. The woman found solace in her new life in San Francisco, surrounded by friends who became her family. Meanwhile, her husband in the Midwest found himself increasingly isolated, the years of airport drop-offs and pick-ups weighing heavily on him.
The dissolution of their marriage was a slow unraveling of what they had built together. Dividing their assets, including their dream home, was a painful process. Yet, in the midst of the heartbreak, they found a lifeline in their continued communication.
As they navigated the aftermath of their divorce, their phone conversations became a source of comfort and connection. Despite the end of their marriage, their voices still found harmony in the music they shared and the memories they cherished.
For two people finding their way through the aftermath of a divorce, the phone became a lifeline, a soft landing as they embarked on their separate paths. And in the bittersweet melody of their story, they found a new kind of harmony in their shared journey of healing.
Patti Niemi, a writer and percussionist in San Francisco, beautifully captures this poignant tale of love, loss, and the enduring power of music in her memoir, “Sticking It Out.”
