Dating Etiquette: Who Should Pay for the First Date?
In the world of dating, one question seems to cause more anxiety than most: Who pays for the first date? According to dating experts, there is a clear answer for heterosexual couples.
“The man should pay for the first date,” said Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men. Erika Ettin, an online dating coach, agrees, recommending that male clients pay and female clients offer. Men should politely decline the offer unless the woman insists, in which case they should accept it.
Public opinion seems to align with what the experts say, with 72% of Americans believing that a man should pay for the first date. However, finances can be a source of stress when organizing a date, with 68% of adults worrying about the cost and 69% feeling uncomfortable because of it.
On average, people spend $77 on a first date, with men spending an average of $861 on dates in 2019 compared to women who spent $500. Dating experts emphasize the importance of planning a date within your budget to avoid unnecessary financial strain.
Historically, men were expected to pay for dates due to traditional gender roles, with men often feeling a subconscious need to pay as a gesture of financial security. While societal norms have evolved, the expectation for men to pay for the first date remains strong.
The person who asks for the date should generally be the one to pay, according to dating experts. This holds true for same-sex couples as well, with the person who initiates the date expected to cover the bill.
While splitting the bill may seem like a practical solution, experts advise against it, as it can come off as “tacky” or “friend zone-ish.” Instead, women interested in a second date can suggest treating next time.
In the end, the goal is to create a balance between equality, feminism, and chivalry. While the traditional expectation may still be for men to pay, it is ultimately a gesture of kindness and respect in the world of dating.
